The ultimate dad joke compilation
REBLOGGED THIS ONE BEFORE BUT I DONT EVEN FUCKING CARE
WHAT FUCKING MOVIE OR SHOW IS THIS WHAT IS THIS WHAT THE FUCK
who’s first ever cooking experience was chicken wrapped in parma ham stuffed with mozzarella with a side of homemade mash?????
Run for your lives!
I can’t believe it
THIS IS MY OTHER FAVOIRTE VINE
Title: We Made These Memories for Ourselves
Word Count: 17,200
Summary: Breath held, Harry squints his eyes open and focuses on the first stick. A blue line. Harry breathes out an unsteady breath. He’s pretty sure he read that one blue line is a negative, but he fishes the box from the bottom of the pile just to make sure.
“Negative,” he confirms, voice echoing around the small room. “Next.”
Now that he’s feeling a little less shaky, he scans the rest of the tests at once, is met with a headache-inducing mixture of pink plus signs and blue double lines. His heart rate picks up until it’s pounding triple-time in the base of his throat and the pit of his stomach, thundering in his ears and throbbing in his temples. He flips over the rest of the boxes slowly, but he knows what they’re going to say before he even looks.
[or, Louis is a footballer, Harry owns a bakery, and they’re having a baby.]
one direction are officially the RICHEST people in the uk under the age of 30
Anonymous said: whoa! i'm surprised by the taylor swift opinion. could you go more in depth as to why you think that? i'm curious to know. (if you aren't comfortable with explaining, you totally don't have to)
no it’s totally fine!
before anyone comes into my ask box calling me fake i’ve seen taylor swift three times in concert because, generally, i enjoy her songs (though i am not impressed by her new album so far). okay anyway.
here are the positives: taylor pretty much self-manages. she’s incredibly smart, business savvy, and she pays attention to the fandom and industry trends around her. she makes money! and she’s really good at it!
what i don’t like is that she capitalizes on her fans’ ideals to create a hit song/record/whatever. for example, as of right now she’s really into feminism and being independent and celebrating womanhood which like, is great yk she probably is “learning” and “growing up” to some extent but if you look at what she’s actually DONE instead of just listening to her talk about it in interviews i really don’t see any progression in her behavior. so she calls out amy and tina for putting other women down right? great. but then why is she still making a song that focuses on her “feud” with katy perry???? what happened to her “not wanting to put other women down?” she wants to leave boys behind? awesome! but wait, why are there like five songs for haylor on the album? they “”“”“dated”“”“” for like three months, two years ago. like, it should have been /let go/.
she also has made it a point recently to say that calling her out for writing about exes is “sexist.” this i don’t understand either because, if im speaking in terms of the examples SHE USED, ed sheeran DID get a lot of flack for “don’t” (if i remember correctly, people compared him to taylor swift herself) and bruno mars is always pretty vague when it comes to his lyrics although I know he’s been referred to as misogynistic. so like?? taylor, please get better examples because i’m lost as to what point you’re making here.
ALSO i think it’s important to point out that it’s FINE(!!!) to talk about exes and past lovers in songs, like, that’s what most music is based off of. what’s NOT fine is when taylor whines about how people draw these connections in her music and subsequently call her out for being fake as hell when, if you listen to her songs, there are VERY SPECIFIC easter eggs (and clues in her ACTUAL lyric books) that are MOST DEFINITELY written in the songs so fans can speculate on her previous relationships. and yk like i get it!!! this is her thing, her schtick. she dates people for the papers and both parties get publicity; she gets a song out of it, her boyfriend of the season gets talked about for the next five years, and they both make money. that is all fine and dandy and i am a-okay with how the industry works. what i don’t like is how she just doesn’t own up to it. literally, i would like her so much more if she just said, “yes i write about all my relationships and I make it very obvious. my life is an open book and fans appreciate it.”
on that note i would also like her to personally thank harry for her “successful” image change. if you don’t think haylor wasn’t a completely calculated move in order to make her image more independent and “grown up” then i don’t know what to say to you. also out of the woods 100% uses her weird manipulative psychology methods to simultaneously make herself the victim (as per usual) while also making it seem like she’s taking the high road.
IN SUMMARY, taylor’s songs and experiences don’t come from a genuine place because she is not a genuine person. this is a game to make money and she’s winning.
Oh man.. Julian’s going to get eaten alive…
Apparently he’s never heard of Cupid shooting hearts with arrows, and apparently he’s never gone on a boat that uses a rope with an anchor. I’ve never been on one with a chain.
TELL ME THAT SCHOOL ISN’T HARD
I KNOW YOU’RE GROWN UP
I KNOW YOU ARE MY PARENT
I KNOW YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN THROUGH THIS PART OF LIFE
BUT SCHOOL HAS GOTTEN HARDER
AND TEACHERS ARE UNFAIR TO ME AND ASSIGN TOO MUCH
AND THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WHEN I AM TIRED
I CANNOT DO WORK
I CANNOT SUCCEED ON A TEST
I CANNOT FUNCTION